Why I am single.

Two nights ago, I was chilling with the ‘mandem’. Instead of watching a film like we were supposed to, we ended up having a 9-hour conversation about girls, money and the state of the world.

While on the topic of girls, the guys started applying pressure to me. It is no secret that I am single and have never had any official girlfriend. Hence, the question of the day became why am I still single?

There are two answers to that question:

I am not my type’s type.

Most of you have probably heard the expression: are you your type’s type? In essence, you may like a particular kind of girl, but those types of girls may not like you. This is the case for me. Without disclosing my type, I am yet to find someone who meets my criteria and reciprocates the interest I show them.

My friends pointed out that if I wanted to be more successful with my type I should reinvent myself to meet their criteria. Some of the long lists of things they suggested included:

• Buying designer clothes and getting some ‘drip.’
• Buying a car – an Astra
• Getting out more and having ‘fun.’
• Being cheekier and more flirtatious
• Picking up new interesting hobbies
• Taking life less seriously

I know my friends had the best of intentions, but the one thing I will never do is change who I am to get a girl. I would rather be single for the rest of my life then become someone I am not.

I am ‘boring’.

Further into the conversation, my friends were adamant that if I did the things listed above I would become more of an exciting person. They went as far as saying that I was lacking a personality.

The way I see it, not conforming to the notion of what a stereotypical black guy from ‘ends’ should be like, is the very thing that gives me a personality. I am unique, and I make no apology for that.

I am not boring either. I enjoy:

• Playing chess
• Reading books about success, politics and life
• Reading and listening to political news and current affairs
• Working on my goals and purpose
• Watching documentaries
• Explaining political news to ordinary people – TobiTalks
• Helping people from disadvantaged backgrounds succeed
• Debating and discussing political issues
• Talking and going out with friends
• Going to the gym
• Writing blog posts about life and politics

The things I enjoy doing may appear boring to the average person from ‘ends’, but I am not trying to be average. I have always said to people that when you are trying to reach a certain level of success, you can’t move like everyone else. Yes, people will call you a weirdo. But you have to decide if you want to be mediocre or if you want to be successful.

So why should I buy designer clothes when I have never been into fashion? Why should I buy a car when I have serious financial goals and do not require one right now? All so I can attract girls? It could never be me.

Ultimately there are two types of people in this world. The first group are sheep and yes men who will reconstruct their entire lives just for a small amount of clout and interest from girls. This is the category the majority of people fall into. Then there are leaders and world changers, who turn their goals and dreams into reality irrespective of what others think.

Which category do you think I belong to?

Outlook

Everyone I become friends with tells me I am unique and different.

Simply put, there is only one Tobi Dada.

If getting my type of girl requires me to become like every Tom, Dick and Harry from ‘ends’ then I guess I will be single forever.

To any girls reading this that have their eye on me, while I am not currently taking any applications feel free to shoot your shot, you never know what might happen…