Black British and Proud: My Identity Crisis!

The other day I was on a call with students from around the world, and the host asked us to introduce ourselves by saying where we were from. Questions about identity have always been challenging for me to answer. Do I say I’m British, the country I was born and raised in? Or do I say I’m Nigerian – a country that I have not yet visited but can trace my lineage to? Or perhaps I say I am both Nigerian and British?

This situation underpins what many Black British people face: an identity crisis. Not truly being accepted as British, while simultaneously not fully identifying with their country of origin. But why is this experience such a phenomenon in Britain today, and is it possible to reconcile competing identities?

When you are black people will always challenge the spaces you are in.

The harsh truth is that Black people will always be challenged when they enter white-dominated spaces. Barrister Alexandra Wilson is a perfect example. Despite graduating from Oxford University and being awarded two prestigious scholarships, she has been frequently mistaken as a defendant in the courtroom. As someone who aspires to reach the top of British institutions, I find it frustrating to continually have to prove that have earnt the right to be in the room. Always having to prove that I am who I claim to be, makes it difficult for me to identify with my British identity. Simply, how much would you identify with a country that required constant reassurance that you were who you claimed to be?

If you were raised in Britain, it is difficult to identify with your country of descent.

For people like me who grew up in Britain, Nigeria, my country of descent, feels alien and Britain feels like home. Some within the Black community argue this sentiment should be ignored – to them, your identity is defined by your lineage. I completely disagree. How much can I identify with a country when, through no fault of my own, I barely understand the language, people and customs?

Furthermore, when I eventually visit Nigeria, I will stick out like a sore thumb. As sad as it is, many of us have to look in the mirror and ask ourselves: what country has played the most significant role in shaping our character? For me it is Britain. Holding on to a country, you know little to nothing about is nonsensical.

The backlash from being proud of your Britishness is mad.

For those who choose to embrace their Britishness irrespective of the racist stereotypes perpetuated by some in society, the backlash from other Black people can be harsh. I would go as far as saying that the backlash from your own community for being proud of Britain is far worse than the reactions from white people.

The reason for this is apparent: for some Black people, loving Britain and identifying as British is synonymous with being white and ignoring Britain’s role in the transatlantic slave trade. Additionally, Britain’s subsequent treatment of the Windrush generation who fought in WW2 is still a fresh wound that makes it difficult for Black Brits to be patriotic.

I am not saying that Black people who do not identify as British hate Britain. Indeed, the majority of Black Brits know the UK is one of the best countries to grow up Black. What Black people hate is Britain’s colonial past. And can you really blame us? Britain’s colonial history hated Black people, treating them with utter contempt – how can Black people not hate institutions that spread notions of Black inferiority.

So, when a Black person declares that they are proud to be British, some Black people see it as an endorsement of Britain’s racist past and present. However, you can and should separate what Britain was, what Britain is now, and what Britain can become. When this is done, it is possible for Black people to love Britain and identify as British while also being critical of Britain’s colonial past.

Coming to terms with your identity is difficult, but it must be done. There is no right or wrong answer, the country you choose to identify with is entirely up to YOU.

As for me, I am proud of both my Nigerian heritage and my British upbringing. As much as people will hate me saying this, I love Britain. It is my country. It will always be the place I call home.